(as of this writing, Gov. Haley of South Carolina has declined to have the state’s poet laureate read a new poem at her upcoming inauguration; thinking perhaps it wasn’t appropriate in tone I endeavored to come up with a suitable replacement ode, which I’ve included below.)
Hello, we’re having a great day in South Carolina;
Unemployment claims are down, gas is cheap,
job growth is up and business is booming.
Schools are crumbling
Roads are crumbling
Charleston is a top tourist town;
Myrtle Beach another top draw.
Do you think we could claim Augusta National?
Homelessness continues to be a problem
For our politicians and also our homeless.
Boeing and BMW, Google and Amazon.
Home Depot, Blue Cross & Blue Shield.
This many corporations can’t be wrong.
Good ol’ boys getting caught in legal dilemmas
James Metts, Danny Frazier, and Bobby Harrell.
We love our Gamecocks, and the Tigers too.
Welcome back Marcus, so long Mike,
Thank God for women’s basketball.
Goodbye, because not enough of us
are having a great day in South Carolina.